Dear Diary,
Happy Lunar New Year sweets. (:
Wow, I haven't update for near two weeks from now.
Due to the Lunar new year, birthday celebrations and my packed schedule, I seldom have time for myself and of course to update ):
I fell the day before yesterday, and now a big bruise on my leg. ):
Faster recover! I don't want to have ugly legs.
I'm busy cleaning up the mess in my room too, my closet's so full that it can no longer fit in any new clothes ):
Later, I'm gonna pull everything out and I swear I'm gonna throw away things that no longer fits.
Even if I haven't wear it before :x
My brother's going back soon, real soon..
It'll be two years later before I can see him again,
although he's quite annoying at times,
I'll still miss him. (:
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Responsible? Bullshits.
Wonder why the title sounds so affronted?
Because time after time, I was a victim of irresponsibility.
How could someone be so irresponsible, let's take it as a miscommunication, but so what?
God dammit, explain yourself well.
Is it my fault going study, & work hard for my achievements?
So, when you tell me when I reaches home at the bewitching hours, you're worried. Nonetheless, there will always be someone who accompanies me home.
What about your promise? To fetch me & help me as I'm on my way to my goals?
Leaving me alone at that clammed up campus, going home, taking a bus with the only passenger which is me, and only me.
Did you even get worried?
I was alone, and you just simply told me,"I'm tired."
Oh, so you think you're the only one tired? & I'm perfectly fine?
How responsible are you?
I'm sorry but I'm flabbergasted and I don't wish to celebrate your "happy birthday" with you.
God. I hate you not fulfilling your promises.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Your loved one, lying, still.
Have you ever experienced someone whom you cared the most have the biggest secret against you?
That someone whom you'd loved tenderly was lying to you, right from the start, the day you knew him.
What if, he kept it from you for years?
What if, he still did not want to admit that lie?
What if, he told you, will you still love him?
For the sake of his ego, he didn't admit to his faults,
he told you, it was just a white lie.
How do you define white lie then?
It was after all still a lie, still, you committed a sin.
How much do you know that person lying beside you every night, that person whom you whispered to spend your lifetime with?
He lied, all from the start, from the day I knew him.
He was almost the perfect bachelor that girls would die for, for that he was well to do, he was charming, he have had great sense of humour, he spoke as if he had honey coated all over his mouth even his scent, was extremely alluring.
I did not understand why I didn't exposed him, for that I knew it long ago, however still trying to tell myself that it wasn't the fact.
I defended him, gave him reasons, thinking that how wild could my thoughts be.
I did not understand how could he feign ignorance every day, living with me.
Don't he feel guilty at all? Even I felt guilty not exposing him, spoiling him, giving him the thoughts that it was fine to lie.
Even till now, he held his ego so, he didn't admit to it.
Till the moment whereby I'd decided to leave, he still cling on to the "fact".
I really do hope, he wasn't lying, but me being too sensitive.
This is how stupid love is.
Have you ever experienced someone whom you cared the most have the biggest secret against you?
That someone whom you'd loved tenderly was lying to you, right from the start, the day you knew him.
What if, he kept it from you for years?
What if, he still did not want to admit that lie?
What if, he told you, will you still love him?
For the sake of his ego, he didn't admit to his faults,
he told you, it was just a white lie.
How do you define white lie then?
It was after all still a lie, still, you committed a sin.
How much do you know that person lying beside you every night, that person whom you whispered to spend your lifetime with?
He lied, all from the start, from the day I knew him.
He was almost the perfect bachelor that girls would die for, for that he was well to do, he was charming, he have had great sense of humour, he spoke as if he had honey coated all over his mouth even his scent, was extremely alluring.
I did not understand why I didn't exposed him, for that I knew it long ago, however still trying to tell myself that it wasn't the fact.
I defended him, gave him reasons, thinking that how wild could my thoughts be.
I did not understand how could he feign ignorance every day, living with me.
Don't he feel guilty at all? Even I felt guilty not exposing him, spoiling him, giving him the thoughts that it was fine to lie.
Even till now, he held his ego so, he didn't admit to it.
Till the moment whereby I'd decided to leave, he still cling on to the "fact".
I really do hope, he wasn't lying, but me being too sensitive.
This is how stupid love is.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Dear Diary,
I'm feeling bored, miserable and exhausted.
So tired that I could actually spell 'tired' as 'tred'.
Why am I not asleep?
Cause I've been waiting for my dinner, which apparently is my supper now,
had been waiting for three hours or so.
Why am i miserable?
Upon knowing that I've got to wake up at 6am tommorrow, yet not asleep.
Upon looking at how messy both my room is, and I wasn't the cause of the mess.
Okay, my blood now boils harder, cause my stomach's empty for too long of a time.
On top of all these, I was reminded that I just lost my phone yesterday again which I had not get hold of it for even half a year.
For that, I've got a bloody packed schedule for the rest of next week, without money, without buying my new dress, without completing my god damned biology notes, without buying a decent looking bag.
Okay, they're finally back, shall continue my whining tomorrow.
):
I'm feeling bored, miserable and exhausted.
So tired that I could actually spell 'tired' as 'tred'.
Why am I not asleep?
Cause I've been waiting for my dinner, which apparently is my supper now,
had been waiting for three hours or so.
Why am i miserable?
Upon knowing that I've got to wake up at 6am tommorrow, yet not asleep.
Upon looking at how messy both my room is, and I wasn't the cause of the mess.
Okay, my blood now boils harder, cause my stomach's empty for too long of a time.
On top of all these, I was reminded that I just lost my phone yesterday again which I had not get hold of it for even half a year.
For that, I've got a bloody packed schedule for the rest of next week, without money, without buying my new dress, without completing my god damned biology notes, without buying a decent looking bag.
Okay, they're finally back, shall continue my whining tomorrow.
):
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
How'd your future be like?
Have you ever given thought of how your future would be like?
Many have desires to be in Utopia, however it's impossible, by reason of human beings will never be satisfied.
My description for Shangri-La, is actually simple.
I don't long for life as a rich man's daughter, I'd want to have achievements and live in place of my accomplishment.
A place to stay in wouldn't be the wonderland Alice stayed in, a penthouse with a comfortable balcony to build a small garden, with a beanbag-ed hammock to rest on at night, to adore those lovely nights.
A bed to lay in with my loved one, silk bed sheets and a walk-in wardrobe for my lovely dresses would be prominent.
A bar, and an area for board games and a pool table to add on to the ambiance.
I have no idea where I'd be living in, America, Australia or Singapore.
It's certain that I'd like to complete my studies in Singapore, with my family and friends.
Time really flies, when we talk about issues like work and studies.
It wasn't as far as I'd apprehended, it'd happen in just a few years.
It's hard to let go, I'm still hypnotizing myself that it isn't a daunting task to let go..
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Another chance?
Don't judge a book by its cover.
You would read it in several profiles from many, however when you realise the fact, most of them does that.
What would come to your mind when you see a group of youngsters, with tattoos and piercings speaking loudly? society thrash.
They're just people who idle around not making any purpose with their lives.
On second thought, have you ever asked yourselves, why are there people like this, I would admit some are of their own accord, however what about those who are not?
They're forced, to idle around, breaking the law and maybe a criminal.
Why?
Simply because the society aren't able to welcome these people back, people are not willing to give them a second chance.
It's just a convenient excuse to turn these people down from jobs opportunity, "leopards never changes it's spots."
Think twice, if these people haven't try, how would you know?
There are miracles in this world, just that have you ever try, obstacles between people makes miracles impossible.
Ivan, an 'O' level graduate, several experiences for sales, now currently working as a sales promoter at a local shopping mall, 6 days a week, from 10am to 10pm, he is hard working, obviously working longer hours than people sitting in their comfortable offices, however he get paid only $1500 per month the most.
On the other hand, an university graduate, without any experience, got offered a $2500 a month, 8am to 5pm work at local prestigious company as an supervisor, complains about the low salary, how small his personal office is, and many small little detail, without realising how many people out there are hoping to have this cozy office, with a lesser pay and a longer working hour.
People just doesn't get satisfied.
Ivan was a smart kid, during his younger days. Just because of a wrong choice, quits school and messed with the wrong company, which many named as gangsters & hooligans.
Nobody looked up on Ivan anymore, they just see him as a society trash.
Now that Ivan whom had turned over a new leaf, went for jobs interview in several company in town, went to every single company in the newspaper, many turned him down upon acknowledging that he was only an 'O' level graduate.
Without a choice, Ivan had to turn to become the sales promoter, standing up most of the time at his work place, wearing the same dress code to work. He was sick of working, however thriving hard for a better future.
What if, a company agreed in employing him, I'm sure Ivan would be as successful as many of the graduates in Singapore, obviously a better future awaits him.
With the help of the advertisements of employing the ex-convicts, some understood that many of them would be a great help, however many still not willing to give them another chance, and accept them.
Hoping that in the coming years, companies would employ workers like Ivan, hard working, willing to learn and accept his fate without complaining..
Don't judge a book by its cover.
You would read it in several profiles from many, however when you realise the fact, most of them does that.
What would come to your mind when you see a group of youngsters, with tattoos and piercings speaking loudly? society thrash.
They're just people who idle around not making any purpose with their lives.
On second thought, have you ever asked yourselves, why are there people like this, I would admit some are of their own accord, however what about those who are not?
They're forced, to idle around, breaking the law and maybe a criminal.
Why?
Simply because the society aren't able to welcome these people back, people are not willing to give them a second chance.
It's just a convenient excuse to turn these people down from jobs opportunity, "leopards never changes it's spots."
Think twice, if these people haven't try, how would you know?
There are miracles in this world, just that have you ever try, obstacles between people makes miracles impossible.
Ivan, an 'O' level graduate, several experiences for sales, now currently working as a sales promoter at a local shopping mall, 6 days a week, from 10am to 10pm, he is hard working, obviously working longer hours than people sitting in their comfortable offices, however he get paid only $1500 per month the most.
On the other hand, an university graduate, without any experience, got offered a $2500 a month, 8am to 5pm work at local prestigious company as an supervisor, complains about the low salary, how small his personal office is, and many small little detail, without realising how many people out there are hoping to have this cozy office, with a lesser pay and a longer working hour.
People just doesn't get satisfied.
Ivan was a smart kid, during his younger days. Just because of a wrong choice, quits school and messed with the wrong company, which many named as gangsters & hooligans.
Nobody looked up on Ivan anymore, they just see him as a society trash.
Now that Ivan whom had turned over a new leaf, went for jobs interview in several company in town, went to every single company in the newspaper, many turned him down upon acknowledging that he was only an 'O' level graduate.
Without a choice, Ivan had to turn to become the sales promoter, standing up most of the time at his work place, wearing the same dress code to work. He was sick of working, however thriving hard for a better future.
What if, a company agreed in employing him, I'm sure Ivan would be as successful as many of the graduates in Singapore, obviously a better future awaits him.
With the help of the advertisements of employing the ex-convicts, some understood that many of them would be a great help, however many still not willing to give them another chance, and accept them.
Hoping that in the coming years, companies would employ workers like Ivan, hard working, willing to learn and accept his fate without complaining..
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