Dear diary

Dear Diary,
I haven't really felt happy these few weeks.
Something's troubling me. Nothing's helping.
Somehow, it just seems like I'm the one whose creating all these problems.
I feel like weeping so badly sometimes,
my life still goes on, I'd spend nights watching those taiwan drama & ends up sleeping in the morning.
I just feel so angry at myself at times & I'd just vent my anger on every single thing.
It sucks, just totally.
I feel like fainting right now, I feel so awful.
Is it that my heart can no longer contain all my miseries, & now it's pouring out.
I might seem so busy everyday, being so tired, my phone just keep ringing..
However, when you really realise. It's me.
It's me who made myself so busy, so tired.
I feel so lousy right now.
My head hurts.



Till death do us apart.
I could still remember vividly how we met,
I was walking back home from the station alone, unlike other days, I didn't have anyone to send me home.
I haven't felt that peace within me for a very long time, it was a beautiful night, stars were shining brightly as if they were smiling at me.
I felt so good, looking at the stars, thinking of my childhood memories.
Just when I was enjoying gazing at the stars, I noticed a black car stopping just right in front of me.
You peeked out of the window, asking if I need a lift home.
I didn't have intentions of accepting the offer till you opened the door & invited me.
Out of curiosity. I questioned you for sending me home.
Then I realised you were my best friend's brother, so you did recognise me.
You smile was so charming.
Upon reaching home, you insisted in sending me to my doorstep.
I thought, you'd make a great boyfriend.
After a year, you still did insist in sending me to my doorstep, I gave you a goodnight kiss before waving good bye.
I knew you were the one, the one whom I'd spend my last days with, the one whom I'd travel around the world with.
You used to send me back home at least twice a week, & slowly it became twice a fortnight, & it became twice a month..
We were just so busy. I know, we don't have time for commitments.
Every date with you is sweet and relaxed.
But it became hasty and gloomy.
I'd decided to end this once and for all, I could no longer see your charming smile.
I could no longer see the warmth in you.
Your career had replaced me in your heart, I know that.
You were surprised when I broke the news.
I walked away, holding back my tears.
I was firm with my decision, I knew it'd be the best for both of us.
I'm so sorry my dear, I couldn't help but see you suffer..
I love you.

Why didn't you wait for me, I didn't know how you felt until I read this...
It isn't true that dates with you were unpleasant, I was just troubled.
The only days that I could relax for a little bit more was the days with you.
The days that you'd comfort me with your smile & your hugs.
I feel just horrible without you.
It isn't true that my heart wasn't there.
It isn't true that I didn't want to see you, I just don't want you to worry for me.
I wasn't suffering, the best times in life was with you, I love you darling.
Why did you leave, I should've spent more time with you.
I should've clarify things with you. I'm sorry, please come back.
Baby, till death do us apart.. I'll be here, always waiting.

Yours,
Love.