I just want you for my own ♥

It's been a hectic week!

1. Uber moody week
2. MSTs
3. Christmas preparations!
4. Catching up with all my friends.

So many things happened this week, it's been so long since I've ever felt this way. It has been the best and the worst week of my month. (although it's only the 2nd week of the month)

Super moody week

I've had a huge quarrel with G, he had somehow left my life for good.

I'm not implying that I'm good, I was actually feeling somehow shitty and empty.

& since it was just 2 days before MSTs, I couldn't really study.

It's been around 3 years since I've met you, from the day peiwei left, you were my life.

We were inseparable, shed tears (of joy and misery) together.

Those times spent with you were the most unforgettable.

You loved (love) me a lot, I know. You were so nice to me baby.

I don't blame you, I admit that I've neglected you.

You might even hate me now, but I can't face you.

I know that I've hurt you, god damned badly.

However, that doesn't make me feel any better.

You were a part of me, till a week ago when you've decided to leave.

That moment when you walked out the door, I knew it was over.

I can't bring myself to cry, to think or to act normally.

I was so broken, I couldn't study, eat, sleep or do anything.

Life really sucked then.

I pulled myself up, together with my mother.

Know why I didn't want you back, even for only a day?

It's not that I've become heartless. I'm just so afraid, so afraid that it'll go back to how it used to be.

Afraid that I'm not willing to let go, afraid that I might hurt you just once again.

No darling, not even a day, not even opening my heart to speak to you for a minute.

I'm really scared.

I'm sad that you're gone, a part of my is gone, but relieved at the same time that I've released both of us from our miseries.

Take care, very good care. Cause I won't be around to do so.

You're on your own now. Good bye.

MST

Honestly, I kinda gave up on MST cause I couldn't even study.

I tried my best, although the results will probably not reflect it.

Christmas preparations

Scouting for Christmas shopping this week.

I'm so happy! ♥

Christmas trees, presents, decorations and songs are the best. :)

Catching up

Yeah, I've managed to catch up with a lot of people.

People who have always been around but I didn't really spoke to.

It's a nice feeling to know that there are still people out there who care.

Some people whom you won't even think of them thinking about you, do actually care.

A few of them read my blog, and a few stalked my facebook.

A few wanted to call and meet me and a few missed me.

Thank you friends, for being so wonderful.

I've made new friends on the way too.

They are also very nice people and stood by me when I needed it the most.

I love all of you.

& Jor if you're reading, I love you the most babe ♥; I love talking to you in the middle of the night, chatting about life and how some idiot treat us. Having our meals and stare at you in awe how much food you can eat and how much you can enjoy your food. You're the best, ever gf. :)

With lot of love & lots of Shihan,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo