Dear diary

I feel like I need to borrow an ear.
I want to be your first priority.
I want to be the only one influencing you.
I want to be understood.
I want to have mutual trust from you.
I want you to listen.
I don't want you to walk away.
I don't want you to share your attention.
I don't want you to avoid things.
I don't want you to do things that I dislike.
I don't want you to not admit your mistakes.
Can you do it?
Can you really do it..

Somehow, I feel so alone.
With so many people around me, I'm blessed.
However, I'm not being understood.
There's so many things for me to say, but nothing seemed to turn out the right way.
It's harder to control, everything.
Honestly, I'm tired of being nice, I want to play foul.
Maybe, that'll be a better alternative.
Maybe.