All these years of being accused, wronged and misunderstood, I've never felt any urge like this to justify myself because I didn't find the need to. Often, my intentions came untold and assumptions were made.
Why did I swallow all these grievances? Did I have to allow others to label me as that?
No. I don't deserve that and nobody does.
Sadly, the world we're in doesn't believe in justice nor sorting out the truth, most the time what we see is on the surface. Judgement were made from what we've heard and presumed.
Today, I would like to redeem myself and explain them so the world could understand.
Heart Breaker
Often, friends around me find me a fussy person to be in a relationship with. They assumed that I've got high expectations of my other half. Some even described "him" to be impossibly wealthy or handsome. Truth is, none of my boyfriends were half that eligible. They weren't because I'm not as fussy as I may seem to be. They have their flaws, shortcomings and insecurities. I've accepted that all these were part of the package. Why did I manage to break so many hearts? Not because I've enjoyed it, neither was I the "cold-blooded" alien that I may portray to be.. Most the time it hurt me as much as it hurt them. However, I was the villain because I spoke up, I highlighted our differences and the obvious cracks in our relationships. Then I'm being accused and labelled, time after time. Look, it did hurt, and the worst part was I can't look back at the person that I used to love, telling them how sorry I was. I can't describe the agony I was in because "I brought it upon myself". I was the cause.
Have you ever tried leaving someone you loved, there, shattered and yet you refused to turn back because you know how hard it would be for him/her to move on? Because you know, it is what you should do if you really do care about them. Taking responsibility of the consequences behind your actions and what people would label you as. No matter what they say, you know you need to swallow all your explanations because they would never understand.
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